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An observation re:mother-judging

Perception

When a mother looks a mess when she has a baby, she’s letting herself go.

When a mother looks put together, but her kids are a mess, she’s neglectful.

When a mother looks good, and her kids look good, she’s a hard-ass.

Reality

When a mother looks a mess when she has a baby, it’s because babies are a fuck load of work and she doesn’t have time or energy to give a shit what people think. I went to the store one day in my nightgown, not as a fashion statement, but because I forgot I hadn’t gotten dressed.

OR it means she’s depressed.

OR it means she’s going through a rough patch.

OR it means she just needed to get something so quickly looking good didn’t warrant giving on her precious fucks.

When a mother looks put together, but her kids are a mess, it’s because kids are messy and can’t stay clean for longer than 5 minutes. I will put my freshly bathed son in clean clothes, and within half an hour he looks like a vagabond.

OR it means that mom has somewhere really important to go, as an adult, for the first time in [time child has been alive], needed to run out to grab something and didn’t feel like sprucing up the spawn.

OR it means that said messy child wouldn’t let mom get him/her clean.

When a mother looks good, and her kids look good, that means Dad helped out in getting the kids ready. Novel concept, ‘eh?

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